Every now and then, you get a blow in the face with the following emotions of random order:
complacency, sadness, frustration, awe, excitement, and so on.
Every now and then, they change the way your day goes, and then the weeks, followed by the years.
Every second. Every minute. Every hour.
As each second hand ticks, our choices can critically change another being’s fate. Then again, we have our own things to mind apart from others.
Bills. Flights. Rendezvous. Relationships. Career. Time.
This is not even close to a countable fraction of the daily grind we all think of… All the more when many of us moved to Europe either as temporary jet setters, or as lifetime extortionists of the European lifestyle. I am pretty sure that Rizal and many of the Ilustrados have felt the same way.
We are a bit different compared to the friends, families, and the countrymen back in our homeland. We are not like many of the people here who stare at us countless times because of our skin color, and our deceiving accents. Perhaps we have thought of pushing to the border of blending in with many of the Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW) since we thought that Filipinos abroad share the same frustrations if we live more or less in the same city, or country, or even the same continent.
We are far different from all that. Being different is the big norm followed after being hipsters. We are different as we get to taste a bit of both worls like those Filipinos who moved to America, and other countries.
We are different in a sense that we try to understand with our intellect and five senses how the world works, how the rate race is in our fields, how scientists, engineers, and other intellectuals fare compared to the other people. We have a lot of things to ponder while sipping a glass of wine, or beer, depending on your preferential taste, geography, and budget.
All that there is to life, we do not sit down and become thoughtless. No. When we get saturated and overwhelmed with everything there is to life, we would like to shut down – thus the wishful thinking, frustrations, and what not pretentious thoughts that cover up the negative emotions. We try to deny what we think of as problems and settle for what life is bound to happen.
Thing is, we cannot settle for less. As much as we want simplicity, we just can’t. We live in a complex and shape shifting world, that things change rapidly and constantly. Maybe some of us like it, such as the 24 hour shops, and all – being available when you need it. But many of us discretely wish for silence, and peace… you know those seemingly perfect holiday facades that travel agencies show us.
Having a brain is not a curse but I guess that we just have to take a step back and breathe. Then if our minds are quiet, do the dirty work, step by step.
That is the beauty I see among us, the Filipino scientists stuck abroad or have already tasted a bit of it, and are somewhere else.
Why am I writing all this? Truth is, I just wanted to bring back this blog. Then again, what else do I have to lose if I write a part of what my brain is wondering.