I really don’t know what to think of this paper which appeared in arxiv today. But I might as well share the fun.

The gist: The authors develop a model to answer the “love question.”

The development of the research question:

“In this paper, we research the love question between males and females from not a time and space angle in human society behavior. Love, as the divine sentiment of people, is always the eternal theme of human being, this can easily be proved by the history of our civilization. In a human society, there are many male and female in our realization, and a male knows many female, the same to a female, whereas, every male or female still want to look for their love, what’s more, there are some people spending the whole life on looking for their true love, so that love is not so simple to put a boy and a girl together.”

“It is the same to say that if a boy and a girl want to come into being love, it needs to satisfy a certain condition.” 

The LOVE model:

1. love as a operator and define n kinds of eigenvalue of the love operator from 1 to n in love space of
human being, n is a positive integer, and the eigenvalues are also a positive integer. The eigenvalue of the love operator of a person belongs to a certain kind of the n species and the love eigenvalue which a person want to look for is also belongs to a certain kind of the n species.

2. We set up a second-dimensional coordinate system, the horizontal axis represents the love eigenvalue which a person belongs to and the the longitudinal axis represents the love eigenvalue which a person want to look for. For example, a coordinate of a male is (M1, M2) and a coordinate of a female
is (F1, F2), they are all represent the love states.

3. When the love eigenvalue of a male equals to the love eigenvalue which a female wants to look for and the love eigenvalue of a female equals to the love eigenvalue which a male wants to look for, they will come into being love. It is to say that the condition of generating love is M1 = F2 and M2 = F1.

4. There are k males and k females in a human society, and the love eigenvalues of the horizontal and longitudinal axis of a person are independently and randomly assigned from 1 to n, so the total of the love states which a person maybe have is n2.

The results and conclusion:

“When a person encounter opposite sex, the probability of they producing love is ten thousandth.”

“Obviously, this probability is very small with respect to the short life of each of us, however, in today’s world, there are about six billion people living on this earth, so there must be your love in a corner of the world. There is never lacking love in the world, but a chance of encountering him or her.”

“If you have encountered this person, you should cherish him or her, because this will be the greatest happiness in life.”

“If you have not met, then there is no need frustration, it is very normal according to the probability calculated according to our model, after all, love and marriage are two different things, even if you never found the love of what you want, you can still get married.”

“If you’ve ever encountered but later lost, you do not have too many regrets, because many people have not encountered in their whole life, and at least you once had.”

Now you know. Facepalm.